Gariben TV / より良い会話を続けてする10個のル―ル ,セレステ・ヘッドリー| Celeste Headlee





Gariben TV / [英語ニュース] より良い会話を続けてする10個のル―ル ,セレステ・ヘッドリー| Celeste Headlee

All of this boils down to the same basic concept
and it is this one
be interested in other people
I keep my mouth shut as often as I possibly can
I keep my mind open
and I’m always prepared to be amazed
and I’m never disappointed.
You do the same thing.
Go out, talk to people, listen to people
and most importantly, be prepared to be amazed.
Now I make my living talking to people
Nobel Prize winners,
truck drivers, billionaires, kindergarten teachers,
heads of state, plumbers. I talk to people that I like.
I talk to people that I don’t like
I talk to some people that I disagree with
deeply on a personal level.
but I still have a great conversation with them.
So I have 10 basic rules
I’m going to walk you through all of them,
but honestly, if you just choose one of them
and master it,
you’re already enjoying better conversations.
Number one: don’t multitask
and I don’t mean just set down your cell phone
or your tablet or your car keys or whatever is in your hand
I mean be present.
Be in that moment.
Number two: don’t pontificate.
If you wanted to state your opinion
without any opportunity for response
or argument or pushback or growth,
write a blog.
Number three: use open-ended questions
Start your questions with who what where when why or how.
If I ask you “Were you terrified?”
You’re going to respond to the most powerful word in that sentence
which is terrified and the answer is
Yes, I was or No, I wasn’t.
try asking them things like what was that like?
How did that feel?
Because then they might have to stop for a moment
and think about it
and you’re gonna get a much more interesting response.
Number four: Go with the flow
That means thoughts will come into your mind.
And need to let them go out of your mind.
Number five: If you don’t know,
say that you don’t know.
Err on the side of caution
Talk should not be cheap.
Number six: Don’t equate your experience with theirs.
It’s not the same. It is never the same.
All experiences are individual.
and more importantly
it is not about you
Conversations are not a promotional opportunity
Number seven : Try not to repeat yourself.
it’s condescending, and it’s really boring.
and we tend to do it a lot.
Number eight: stay out of the weeds
Frankly people don’t care about the years,
the names, the dates all those details
that you’re struggling to come up with in your mind.
They don’t care. What they care about is you.
Number nine: this is not the last one,
but it is the most important one.
Listen.
buddha said, and I’m paraphrasing
if your mouth is open you’re not learning
it takes effort and energy to actually pay attention to someone
but if you can’t do that, you’re not in a conversation/
You’re just two people shouting out
barely related sentences in the sam place.
One more rule number 10, and it’s this one. Be brief.
All of this boils down to the same basic concept
, and it is this one
Be interested in other people.
I keep my mouth shut as often as I possibly can
I keep my mind open
and I’m always prepared to be amazed,
and I’m never disappointed.
You do the same thing.
Go out talk to people
listen to people, and most importantly
be prepared to be amazed.

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